Dating apps have taken the modern world by storm. From Tinder to Hinge, we have all been exposed to the discourse surrounding dating platforms and it seems that there is an app for everyone to find their “perfect match”. But have we taken dating app culture too far, to the point that it intrinsically fails due to our prevailing societal attitudes towards it? 

If you speak to your parents or grandparents, I’m sure most of them would say they cannot fathom the idea of forming a lifelong romantic connection online. Refrains such as “Where’s the natural chemistry?” or “Chivalry is dead” resonate, our favourite phrases to hear as we enter adulthood as the first generation to grow up with pervasive internet access. While the internet has given us unbelievable opportunities and expanded our capacities immensely, it has also changed the way we go about certain social aspects, a prime example being dating. Nowadays, you hear less and less stories about people meeting in a bar or through mutual friends and more and more stories of “He swiped up on my story” or “She slid into my DMs.” The internet, specifically social media, has become central to the formation and upkeep of relationships, and I don’t see it ever reverting to the way it was. 

However, companies recognize a target market in our generation’s need to navigate dating in a virtual world. Thus, dating apps were born. The idea is genius; the creation of platforms specifically catered to connecting people who may not have crossed paths organically broadens our horizons in the realm of potential dates and life partners. The idea of the photo reel, the tailored questions and the fun facts to put on our profiles allows us to do the same thing a quick chat in a coffee shop or flirting in a bar would – verify compatibility. We could go on a first date with someone we met from a dating app with the assurance that, even if we decide not to pursue the relationship further, we met and got to know someone with whom compatibility was a possibility, constituting a success.  

Where did it all go wrong? What has happened that has led dating apps to become a silly late-night pastime with friends or a source of validation from matches that are never followed-up on? Why have we stopped utilizing the opportunities that dating apps provide for connecting with compatible people and going on genuine dates? Within my social circle, there are those who aren’t on board with dating apps, preferring to seek natural, in-person connections, and then there are those who have dating apps primarily for entertainment and amusement. Is this indicative of a generation that has digressed to wanting in-person connections? Is it a perceived decline in the effectiveness of dating apps meaning nobody deems them worthwhile or something to take seriously? Whatever it may be, it is concerning that only a few years after the rise in popularity of dating apps, which had the potential to serve as valuable tools in our increasingly internet-centric lives, we are not using them seriously for their intended purpose.  

Does this reflect on how relationships have shifted in the past decade? Definitely. Does it scare me that our generation is ditching traditional romance and dating in favour of situationships, non-committal partners and complication? Absolutely. I hope that people will continue to see beyond the “fun” of swiping on dating apps and continue to value commitment, connection, and compatibility. Whether we’re meeting naturally online or in the real world, let us not lose sight of the fundamental human need for companionship and genuine love with others, not just validation, mixed signals, and pickup lines on a digital screen.