Once upon a time, two young girls who had recently moved into their new home were wondering how to entertain themselves when they stumbled upon a blast from the past: Sex and the City. This show sparked a conversation on how times have changed and how being a young adult in the 2020s is nothing compared to the lives of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte in the early 1990s. 

For this first article, let’s start off with some definitions just to get us all on the same page. 

Platonic 

With platonic relationships, there is zero chance of anything happening. You see them as a ken doll – there's nothing below the belt. 

Pre-Talking Stage 

A recent conversation topic for the two girls was their friend, who, for months, believed she was in a talking stage with a boy. We found out that he only saw her as a friend. We believe this is what defines a ‘pre-talking stage’: the blurred line of not knowing whether or not the other person likes you, but still maintaining daily contact and exhibiting the behaviors of a talking stage, albeit unknowingly in some cases.

In the case of our friend, there were two-hour daily phone calls resembling a talking stage. What differentiates it, however, is that neither party is aware of the other’s true feelings, each approaching the situation from a different perspective—thus, the ‘pre-talking stage.’

Talking Stage 

Now, moving onto what many hope is the outcome of the ‘pre-talking stage’: a talking stage. The main difference here is clarity. Both parties know the other reciprocates their feelings. These feelings may be different intensities – but both are emotionally invested – without physical involvement yet. This stage includes long phone calls, obsessive checking of snap maps, and analysing every little thing the other person does. However, sometimes the talking stage comes after physical involvement, such as a one-night stand. This still constitutes a talking stage because during this period, the two people involved are not hooking up or interacting; the talking stage is limited to digital interactions. 

 Dating 

Dating is a term whose meaning has shifted greatly since the ‘90s. It used to imply that you hadn’t fully gotten to know someone yet, but were going out to dinners, asking about the others’ interests, and figuring out if you genuinely like the person. Nowadays, dating someone comes much later; you’re officially dating when you start calling them your boyfriend or girlfriend. 

Perhaps this is because the “dating culture” as it was in the 90s is dying out and being replaced by the idea of a situationship and a much larger hookup culture. 

Get with/Hook up 

The term ‘hookup’ is one that’s been confusing my friendship group for years. For half of my group this implies a fuck,but the rest use see a hookup as everything but sex. So, to clarify, I define a hookup as sex with no strings attached. There are a few types of hookups, i.e. a one-night stand, on-and-off hook up, etc. However, there is a key thing to remember: hookups are public knowledge, unlike a ‘sneaky link’. 

Sneaky Link 

Ever hooked up with someone so bad you felt like you couldn’t even tell your closest friends without being clowned? This would be a sneaky link. Your reasons for not wanting to tell them can differ: he could be your friend’s ex, a controversial guy in general, or just straight up the opposite of your normal type. If you feel too embarrassed to claim them, it’s a sneaky link. 

Situationship 

The main difference between Sex and the City and dating in the 2020s is the definitive existence of the situationship, something that would have been much more taboo during Bradshaw’s prime days. What is this phenomenon you may ask? Well, for starters, the lines are quite blurred when it comes to this label. Some define it as sex without strings, sex building into strings, sex whilst seeing others, sex only with each other but without the label of “exclusivity”...the list goes on. Let’s provide some clarification: a situationship is, ultimately, sex without any strings attached, plain and simple.There’s no need to complicate this term; if you are consistently sleeping with someone without them claiming you, unfortunately, you’ve landed yourself in a situationship. 

 Exclusivity 

So, how do we define exclusivity? The main difference between a situationship and being exclusive is that there has been an active conversation about being monogamous, but this monogamy does not necessarily include emotionalcommitment. 

So, for anyone who's single this Valentine's Day, I do hope this article gives you some clarity about which romantic status you’re currently holding...and I sincerely hope it’s not an exclusive, emotionally committed (but not dating) situationship.