In a group setting, have you ever noticed how it’s often a woman who makes sure everyone feels comfortable?  Who remembers birthdays, plans gatherings, and smooths over conflicts? At work, she’s the one who organizes the farewell card, offers emotional support to a stressed colleague, and somehow ends up taking notes in the meeting – even if it’s not her job. At home, she’s expected to be the one who remembers doctor’s appointments, manages schedules, and ensures that everyone’s emotional needs are met. But why? Why do women so often feel responsible for everyone else’s well-being?  

This unspoken yet heavy burden is called emotional labor – the unseen work of managing emotions, maintaining harmony, and anticipating the needs of others. Emotional labor is much more complex than simply being nice and considerate. It’s actually the management of others’ feelings, absorbing their sadness or stress, and preventing conflict, even if it’s at the expense of our own emotional health. Women tend to go above and beyond to accommodate others when it is not asked of us. It’s become one of the many social norms that we don’t question anymore. Naturally women are considered caregivers, so it’s taken as a given that we will use our natural instincts in everyday life. This assumption was completely fine until it reached a point where we are expected to do it constantly because if we don’t do it, no one will. 

This expectation is often why women become the “therapists” in all our friendships, offering support even on our own hardest days. We’re also the ones responsible for maintaining the friendship by frequently checking in, foreseeing and avoiding potential disputes, and planning hangouts or holidays. This imposed diligence is why we are always given the default role of the caregiver, spanning from the expectation to put our personal and career dreams on hold to raise children, to emotionally and physically managing household dynamics. This might seem insignificant, until one actually considers everything that goes into it: someone has to cook lunch and dinner every day, keep the house clean and laundry washed, whilst also planning the perfect gift for every family member and keeping track of everyone’s mood and health. Moreover, this is only what’s expected at home, not including the responsibilities within our friend groups or the workplace. At work there’s the added expectation to be nurturing, approachable and emotionally available, to plan Christmas parties and compose company gift boxes. All facets of our life require us to bear responsibility for others’ emotional well-being. 

All of this work is not only emotionally but also physically draining, leading to a kind of burnout only truly recognized by those who have experienced it. The feeling of guilt or anxiety for setting boundaries or for not fulfilling the role as well as we think we should only add to the exhaustion. The ever-present imbalance in emotional reciprocity makes it even worse. Women give far more than we receive, and yet our emotional labor remains largely unrecognized. And when the burden becomes overwhelming, we often have no one to turn to except other women, which starts an endless cycle of the overwhelmed comforting the overwhelmed.  

The real issue isn’t that women are naturally more empathetic or emotionally intelligent, it’s that society has conditioned us to believe this work is our responsibility alone. Emotional labor is often invisible and undervalued, yet it is what keeps families, friendships, and workplaces running smoothly. Without it, relationships would crumble, conflicts would escalate, and entire support systems would collapse. But despite its significance, emotional labor remains unrecognized and unpaid, treated as an unspoken expectation rather than a contribution. Women are left emotionally drained while others benefit from our effort, rarely stopping to consider that it comes with a cost. 

The truth is women were never meant to hold up the world alone. If emotional labor is the glue that keeps everything together, then it’s about time that everyone else shared that weight.